idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
