he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
