I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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