I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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