I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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