She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
