i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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