We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
