Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
