please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Randomize
