his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
