And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
