I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
