I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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