I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
