sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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