Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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