in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
