But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
they need to just BURY HIM!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
