I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
