He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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