You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
