Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
