wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Don't tell me you're on acid again
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
