So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
