So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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