Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
