i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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