I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Ketchup is God's man juice
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
