wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
