its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
