i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
