you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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