WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
