Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
