in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Randomize
