Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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