More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
