He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
