i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
