Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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