my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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