Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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