I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We don't watch enough power rangers
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
