Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
