You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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