your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
