I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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