The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize