Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Randomize
