im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
