Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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