I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
