So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
