How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
