Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
