I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
