JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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