I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I believe in your delicious
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize