Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
